Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Did I live Twenty Years Exclusively for Myself...?

No. I didn't. It's as simple as that.
Does it really look or feel simple? Again, No. It doesn't!

I'll give you a bit of a recap... Let's just travel two years back. That was 16th October 2010. Exactly two years before this date, when I had felt everything in my life has started to change because, exactly two months before this date, I had started my 'new' life as a professional degree student. I chose Bachelor of Pharmacy because of my passion towards medical sciences. I had a dream of becoming Dr.Akshay. Wow! How nice it looks as I typed it! But time had its own version of my future... 

I was unable to believe that I was so much reformed! The evolution of a chatterbox to a silent hippo is a disaster, but you have to believe it... I remained shut for most of my time! I also spent time on researching the cause for this, but the outcome was zero. Instead of a result, it left me in a dilemma. May be my continuous illness of the friendlesness had a bigger hand there...

I was someone who always had friends who were more than friends. But the sad thing is that, these friends turned to be just friends, then to 'hi-bye's, the to 'do-i-know-you's. In these sad days of mine, a spark with flowery bends started invading me and I was almost back to 'my' original state. I started to feel a transformation, which was quite unnecessary but turned to be somewhat good. I was happy with people around me then! New friends. New beginnings. I even found 'someone' to talk loads, eat ice-cream, drink cane juice, play badminton, share thoughts, exchange experiment results, reagents and chemicals in testubes. I even got a  sweet goodbye wave during departure. I thought  friends started to acquire me to the fullest again! Got overwhelmed with my life again...!

What all I said in above 'was' true... and the next part of the truth was painful... My life was indeed taking turns, but, took a bigger turn, completed as a U-Turn. I was back to my own stupid pavilion. That time was in fact, like a movie that relieves tension, after the movie, you must leave the theater, and that's what I was doing then. I 'was' happy with people around me, I 'was' surrounded my friends. I 'had' someone to share talks and testubes, I 'had' that sweet goodbye. Nothing stays with you forever! But, there must be a reason, no matter valid or not for things to fly away from you... I started to hate my life again. When something starts to happen in your life, It should happen withing its prescribed time. When you try to prolong the process, the results may vary. Sorry, the results 'will' vary; and then you start to think, I must have done this earlier! Then I now say to myself, "My life was once beautiful! or... It was me who misunderstood life! It was, is and always will be the same! and same!"

By the way, did you think anything about relation between the title of this post and its content? If not, do it! And, you know about the festival 'Holi' right? The festival of colours. Google it once to know more before heading into my blog next time. Well, Holi does not always add colors, it also takes away some of those colors from you! Want to find out how? Stay tuned for my next blogpost!


  1. Akshay, let me tell you one thing.. Everybody knows that life has its own pros and cons, ups and downs, happiness and sadness,.. but most important is that do we really think of it when a catastrophe has befallen us.. am sure when you lived for others you did live happily because that was 'your' way of designing life.. and as the look of your blog changed I wish even your life changes.. let all the bad content be replaced by its opposites.. looking forward for the posts sharing you happiness but that doesn't mean you have to share only the best part but I meant let only the best part fill you to share.. :)(nice writeup as always)

    1. @SB!! Thanks for the encouraging words, let that hope of me posting happier blogposts come true!